I think I've cracked the mystery of how UKIP MEPs manage to keep such a grumpy expression no matter what, and mechanically vote against every useful proposal that comes before Parliament.

The answer? They're all robots.

I was browsing the European Parliament's transcript of debates (the hi-tech equivalent of Westminster's Hansard) the other day and spotted a remarkable similarity between the contributions to the debate made by several UKIP MEPs. First, Mike Nattrass:

"UKIP fully recognises the desirability of improving conditions for handicapped people, particularly in some states on mainland Europe. However, we reject the notion that improvements should be carried out under the competence of the Commission."

Next, Tom Wise:

"I fully recognise the desirability of improving conditions for handicapped people. However, I reject the notion that this should be done, by the EU on behalf of anyone, let alone sovereign Nation States."

Next, Gerard Batten:

"UKIP fully recognises the desirability of improving conditions for handicapped people, particularly in some states on mainland Europe. However, we reject the notion that improvements should be carried out under the competence of the Commission."

Anyone else smell a rat?