David Cameron and the Tories are no closer to escaping their quandary over Europe.

The Telegraph reported last week that Cameron had to make a flying visit to the Czech Republic in order to meet with Mirek Topolanek amid rumours that the Czech Civic Democrats (who use the amusing/unfortunate acronym ODS) were getting increasingly cold feet over a departure from the EPP and their proposed new alliance.

Topolanek has already damaged the Tories’ hopes of forming a new group after upsetting the Polish Law and Justice Party (with the even more unfortunate acronym PiS) so much that they will now have no part in any new alliance.

Now, both Europhile and Eurosceptic halves of the party are flinging ultimatums about like a bad game of frisbee, with Cameron the piggy in the middle.

Eight Eurosceptic MEPs, led by the H brigade of Hannan and Heaton-Harris (Helmer has lost the Tory whip, don’t forget) are demanding Cameron pulls the Tories out of the EPP by September or risk seeing them walking out on their own accord.

On the other side of a seismic divide are six Europhile MEPs who intend to remain in the EPP for the duration of the current parliament, not least because it is Conservative Party manifesto and they, at least, want to stick to what they pledged to the electorate.

To exacerbate things further the 92 Group, made up of right-wing Tory MPs, have sent a letter to Cameron urging him to pull the party’s MEPs out of the EPP regardless of whether the Conservatives manage to form a new group or not.

The letter, drafted by Gerald Howarth, said: "We do not regard the creation of an alterative group as a necessary precondition to our leaving the EPP,"

If Cameron were to heed this suggestion it would leave the Tory party in Europe with all the influence, power and respect UKIP have ingloriouly garnered.

So with that all in mind it is perhaps not surprising that Cameron has gone quiet on the issue.

Many predicted that the Conservatives would use the media focus on the World Cup to bury their decision but with nothing being sneaked out from Tory HQ during England’s latest penalty shootout defeat it seems they have missed their chance. Though at their current rate of ineffective dwadling and squabbling maybe they could sneak their verdict out in the next World Cup. Or even the London Olympics.

Click here and here for more news on the issue from the Telegraph's website.

Added on July 6th:

The Guardian today carries a story on Europhile MEPs, which you can read here while the paper's Simon Hoggart provides an amusing sketch on the issue which I have reproduced below.

"Labour backbenchers were given the job of asking about David Cameron's plans to pull the Tories out of a mainstream grouping in the European parliament and join a new hodge-podge of minor parties, racists, homophobes and loonies. This is like someone deciding they didn't like the food at the Savoy Grill, so joining the winos, bag ladies and beggars outside for McDonald's leftovers - you may like them and the food better, but it's a curious choice."

To read Hoggart's full column click here.