Seals are in the news this week in more ways than one.

Last week in Strasbourg, Written Declaration 38, calling for a ban on seal products, stormed to adoption with well over half of all MEPs signing it.

The director of the Humane Society, Mark Glover, who was in the Parliament as a guest of myself, and the rest of his team, deserve plenty of praise for some intensive and very effective lobbying.

It now means that the European Parliament is officially calling for a ban on the import, export and sale of all harp and hooded seal products. As Europe is one of the biggest importers of seal products, such a ban would put severe pressure on the trade.

All this neatly ties in with Roger Helmer being returned the Tory whip in the European Parliament. With Cameron having already signalled his intention to alienate the Conservatives from the rest of Europe’s centre -right parties, it was no great surprise to see such an extreme Eurosceptic welcomed back to the fold.

However, with all the timing and subtlety of Kevin Pietersen with a sledgehammer, just a day after his return to the Conservatives, Helmer found himself in the papers for his less than caring, sharing, environmentally-friendly, Cameron-esque attitude to seals.

Responding to a letter from a 17-year-old asking him to sign Written Declaration 38, Helmer’s tart response was a rather pompous letter (which even alluded to the lack of moral competence of seals) telling her he would not be signing the declaration, as beating seals over the head “is humane” and her attitude was “mawkish, sentimental and unhelpful”.

There is also an allegation that Helmer encouraged her to stop caring for “dumb animals”. Advice apparently taken, the student went straight to the media and ensured he took a beating of his very own in the local and national media.

A less than glorious return for the Conservatives’ prodigal son!