Mail's dream 'manifesto' comes unstuck

After 25,000 people signed a Downing Street petition calling for Jeremy Clarkson to be made Prime Minister, the Daily Mail decided to draft a manifesto (or a list of all its hateful prejudices) on his behalf. No surprises then that this made the list (though only at number 17): "We fought the last war for our independence, and now we're under the heel of the unelected eurocrats of Brussels. Under my rule, Britain will withdraw from the EU, so we will no longer be governed by a bunch of sausage-eating Germans, French cheese-eating surrender monkeys and kebab-swallowing Greeks."

However the Mail must have missed Clarkson's article for the Sun last year, in which he outed himself as federalist when he wrote, "I also like the idea of a giant European state tempering American stupidity and Chinese economic might".

Hardly the talk of a rabid Eurosceptic!